Everybody Hurts...

When your day is long and the night 
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go 
Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong 
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night - hold on, hold on
If you feel like letting go - hold on
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.
R.E.M 'Everybody Hurts' - c. 1992

How true it feels these days....

A good version is by the Coors:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkp-U36c_wo

Crossroads and Time Machines

In reply to the comment posted below, I have often thought about what would have happened if I went back to a crossroad and changed this or that. To be honest I have had this desire since I was about 18 or so.

The intensity of the desire to go back and change things at crossroads has increased with older age, and that said I think I would end up with a shed fall of time machines at the bottom of the garden for the number of times I have wished to go back. Come to think of it I would also love to have a remote with a pause button and a quick rewind! Reminds of the film Click - if you have not seen it then see it and hopefully you will understand these remotes are no good. Mind you just a pause and quick rewind button would not be too bad, enough said about that don't want to spoil the film for you guys who have not seen it.

The fact of the matter in the scheme of things our time line is fixed, call it destiny, call it ordained by God, we do not have the power to change our time line. When I look back at how my life has unfolded including my personal and professional life I can see clearly how my time line has been written.

So where does that leave us all? If our time lines are fixed - and they are, then where do we sit with all of this? The only thing I can conclude is that we have to all live in the here and now, and that is today, not yesterday and not tomorrow, but today and only today.

After talking this through with an acquaintance, I now strongly believe that I will try my utmost to be HAPPY in the here and now and that means to be HAPPY today.

Have a great HAPPY day!

Spaghetti on the Kitchen Floor

Life at present feels like I have dropped uncooked spaghetti all over the kitchen floor.

Now I can do two things, pick them up or leave them and walk away. However everyone is standing at the kitchen door, watching to see what I do. In the small doorway my parents, brothers, wife and kids stand there waiting for my decision.

I stand over the spilled spaghetti strands and look at the utter chaos just lying there. Some of the strands are broken, most are just spilled facing in different directions.

I turn and look at everyone, I turn and look at the patio doors that exit to the garden. Bend down and pick them up? Or make a dash through to the garden and over the fence where nothing awaits?

I Had a Dream of an Old Man

The other night I dreamt the most intensive dream ever. I have been having a few problems in my life recently - mid life crisis - and had felt really trapped. My eldest daughter seemed the only one that cared, and we had been talking about things.

Anyway in the dream my eldest daughter saw me coming and she ran to me with a big fat smile. She started shouting "Daddy daddy I have found the man who can help you solve everything." Sure enough behind her was an old man and running around this old man lots and lots of kids. I and the old man sat on a bench, and my daughter stood behind us.

The old man was meant to give me advise and sort out things. He started by picking my jacket up and fiddling through the pockets talking about how wonderful coins are. Then all of a sudden he pulled out my packet of cigarettes, in front of my daughter! I don't smoke in front of the kids and I felt  the old man had betrayed me in doing so.

I lost my temper and started shouting at at the old man and as I shouted louder and louder, the old man got up and left, my daughter left, the kids left and I was all alone sitting on that bench I hung my head down in despair. Hope had all but gone, and I started crying with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I awoke and the tears were still there, rolling down my face. I have never awoken from a dream like that before.

I did interpret the dream later on and decided on a few important things.

Crossroads

Everyone must get to a point in their life whereby they are standing at a crossroad, with three options to choose from; Turn right, turn left or keep on ploughing down straight ahead. Of course some will not get to such a crossroad as death may have caught up with them at an early age, or they are foolish enough to miss the crossroad entirely and continue on ahead at full blast!

It now appears that we seem to arrive at these crossroads somewhere around forty years of age, what is commonly known as the 'mid-life crisis', aka 'what the hell am I doing with my life?', aka 'where does all this lead to?'

Now in this funny year 2013 - the key number here is 13, unlucky for some? -   I seem to have stopped at my crossroads, looking down each of the options ahead of me and scratching my head. As I stand here, and the longer time I spend making the decision the lower I feel.

It as if the whole of me is at a stand still, and we all know that anything that stands still in our great universe does not belong. That thing really looks and feels out of place. So not only do I feel low - very low, but I look and feel out of place. Surely it is high time I made a decision and took one of the bloody roads to the future of my life.

I guess the greatest fear I have now and at this point only is "What if there is another crossroad down the road?"

Too Old For Football on Sunday

I had a really bad knock at football today. Although I was wearing shin pads, I got a full on kick on my right shin.

I managed to wobble on for 20 minutes or so, but in the end was too much. Maybe I am too old for football on Sunday?

It might be will time to hang up more boots, or start playing walking football!

Anyway let's see how long this injury lasts.

Paypal is DOWN 28 Jan 2013

Happy New Year

Paypal is DOWN on the 28 Jan 2013!!!

What is going on...

Even Paypal do not know!