Me Me Me...

Everyone seems to care about one thing and one thing only, and that is themselves.

Has society after all these years of civilisation came to this? Or has this being a fundamental essence of humans since they started walking on this mortal earth?

I for one have had enough of it, why do people seem to not look further than themselves? Surely if they looked out for others they would feel much better?

I hope and pray that I do not become part of the "Me Me Me Brigade"

Death - The Great Changer of Life

Yesterday a very dear uncle passed away. I cried a lot and still have tears rolling down my cheeks now. I never knew my Uncle Zaki that much, my dad had left our beloved Iraq back in the 70s and here in London we settled and still are.

What I do remember of Uncle Zaki is that he always asked about us, and especially me. Us four boys being the children of his only sister. My Uncle Zaki kept a close interest of my education, how will I was doing through all of my years of studying. He kept asking until I finished my MBA, and after that he kept a close interest in the education of my children.

May God have mercy on him and may he rest in peace.

Zaki Hasan Al-Layla
Born c. 1933 - Died 23 June 2013
Mousal Iraq.

Ladies & Gentlemen, The New Ruler of the World

When I was young and just starting out in college life I believed I knew everything - actually I believed that I knew everything about everything. Now here at college on my own, fending for myself I felt I am the ruler of the world.

It turned out that I knew nothing about everything. All I cared about was me me me, and hence in my mind I was the ruler of the world - the  world of me.

With a few years under my belt I realise how ignorant I was, how foolish I must have been and how life was very blissful, and how I long for a bit of ignorance so that I may have some peace from all that goes on around me.

Today I am worried to death, as I stare in the mirror every morning, and look at the grey hairs appearing on my side burns, and I think ladies and gentlemen the new ruler of the world is the grey hair on my side burn. 

Oh for some ignorance... my kingdom for a little bit of ignorance...

Everybody Hurts...

When your day is long and the night 
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go 
Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong 
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night - hold on, hold on
If you feel like letting go - hold on
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.
R.E.M 'Everybody Hurts' - c. 1992

How true it feels these days....

A good version is by the Coors:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkp-U36c_wo

Crossroads and Time Machines

In reply to the comment posted below, I have often thought about what would have happened if I went back to a crossroad and changed this or that. To be honest I have had this desire since I was about 18 or so.

The intensity of the desire to go back and change things at crossroads has increased with older age, and that said I think I would end up with a shed fall of time machines at the bottom of the garden for the number of times I have wished to go back. Come to think of it I would also love to have a remote with a pause button and a quick rewind! Reminds of the film Click - if you have not seen it then see it and hopefully you will understand these remotes are no good. Mind you just a pause and quick rewind button would not be too bad, enough said about that don't want to spoil the film for you guys who have not seen it.

The fact of the matter in the scheme of things our time line is fixed, call it destiny, call it ordained by God, we do not have the power to change our time line. When I look back at how my life has unfolded including my personal and professional life I can see clearly how my time line has been written.

So where does that leave us all? If our time lines are fixed - and they are, then where do we sit with all of this? The only thing I can conclude is that we have to all live in the here and now, and that is today, not yesterday and not tomorrow, but today and only today.

After talking this through with an acquaintance, I now strongly believe that I will try my utmost to be HAPPY in the here and now and that means to be HAPPY today.

Have a great HAPPY day!

Spaghetti on the Kitchen Floor

Life at present feels like I have dropped uncooked spaghetti all over the kitchen floor.

Now I can do two things, pick them up or leave them and walk away. However everyone is standing at the kitchen door, watching to see what I do. In the small doorway my parents, brothers, wife and kids stand there waiting for my decision.

I stand over the spilled spaghetti strands and look at the utter chaos just lying there. Some of the strands are broken, most are just spilled facing in different directions.

I turn and look at everyone, I turn and look at the patio doors that exit to the garden. Bend down and pick them up? Or make a dash through to the garden and over the fence where nothing awaits?

I Had a Dream of an Old Man

The other night I dreamt the most intensive dream ever. I have been having a few problems in my life recently - mid life crisis - and had felt really trapped. My eldest daughter seemed the only one that cared, and we had been talking about things.

Anyway in the dream my eldest daughter saw me coming and she ran to me with a big fat smile. She started shouting "Daddy daddy I have found the man who can help you solve everything." Sure enough behind her was an old man and running around this old man lots and lots of kids. I and the old man sat on a bench, and my daughter stood behind us.

The old man was meant to give me advise and sort out things. He started by picking my jacket up and fiddling through the pockets talking about how wonderful coins are. Then all of a sudden he pulled out my packet of cigarettes, in front of my daughter! I don't smoke in front of the kids and I felt  the old man had betrayed me in doing so.

I lost my temper and started shouting at at the old man and as I shouted louder and louder, the old man got up and left, my daughter left, the kids left and I was all alone sitting on that bench I hung my head down in despair. Hope had all but gone, and I started crying with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I awoke and the tears were still there, rolling down my face. I have never awoken from a dream like that before.

I did interpret the dream later on and decided on a few important things.